Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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