I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
