now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize