Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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