I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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