I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
