i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
