We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
