4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
