i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
