my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
