This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So much Jack, so little girl.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
