I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
