Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
