you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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