I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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