when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
