i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
