he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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