Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
