Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize