You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize