her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
