I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize