My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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