She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
