He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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