If i come over, it means nothing
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
