I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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