Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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