im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
