You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
