we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
