4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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