i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
