ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
