I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
