Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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