So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
