You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
bring money and cleavage
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
