her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize