no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
we're so committed to being not committed
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize