So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
