Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
