people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
