My brain says no but my pants say off.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
