i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize