its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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