is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
