There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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