Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
