I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
