So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
