bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
