Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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