ugly people sure do ruin things
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize