Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
