Your tits are I can't wait for
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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