I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
