I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
