you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
