She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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