i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
