Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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