did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
