Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
