The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
