she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
