apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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