I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
