The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize