i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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