i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
