Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize