I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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