she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
