what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
