So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
