can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
