Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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