do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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