i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
