She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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