Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize